My First Entry

Today is the 22ND of March. I just created this blog a week ago to dedicate it to Christ's never-ending love. I was a second-generation christian and wasn't very excited about God in my life. During the kindergarten services, i did not know the significance of lifting my hands to God, nor the reason and joy of coming to church. To me, worshipping was embarrassing. As i grew up, my parents' arguments became more frequent. They would hit me with a shower-head or something like that. And because of that i grew up into quite a rebellious child at home. At the age of 11, i was beginning to talk back at my parents whenever they scolded me. I could only be myself when i was in school. As a result of my rebelliousness, my father would frequently flare up in public and slap me.
Whatever the state i was in, God wanted to restore that broken heart of mine and bring me back to Him. So I found myself being invited back to church through my parents' friends' children. I was 14 then, and I experienced the empowered worship that I pulled away from for years. Everyone seemed really blessed by the grace of God. But it didn't touch me enough to open my heart to Jesus. Unlike the second-generation Christians there, worship did not come out naturally for me. I had to know God all over again. Without the passion that drove me, I went away from church again. I started to spend Saturdays idly, without going to church.
Despite failing to see God for 2 times, God wasn't ready to let me go. A friend from church was calling me at least once a week to find out what was happening to me. She would pray with me and encourage me to go to church. At that time, I was blinded from all sharing and concern. Toward the end of the call, when she was praying, I always felt that there was no way i was going to be close to God again. I felt this big river of sin that separated me from the glory of God.
God still wanted to bring me back into His arms. After 1 year, my aunt asked me whether i was still going to church. When i said no, she insisted on introducing me to her church. The first time i went there, I noticed that the church's atmosphere was different. There was no emotional breakthrough in anyone, I could not hear my neighbours singing. Only a minority lifted their hands in worship. I realised that every church had their unique way of worshipping. It was then that I really appreciated my church and longed to go back.
For the first time, I went to church expecting something. The friend who called me was elated to see me back. When I returned, I found that there was an upcoming youth camp and enrolled for it. The camp changed my life forever as I witnessed the power and love of God through the prayer of pastors, enthusiasm of friends and personally too. During one of the five days, the electricity throughout the hall was cut off. And we were worshipping with just our voices in the darkness. Just at that time, I felt the spirit of God and decided to repent on everything and just give my whole to God. On the first day, I was a fifteen year old girl. On the fifth day, I was born again as a happy child of God! The next day, as i came back to church, God surprised me by how i was able to lift up my hands and rejoice with everything I had.
Even when I wasn't pulling away from God, He never failed to save me again and again. Unknowingly, He shaped my life so that I could come back to Him. I thank God for remembering me, for His unfailing love.


And I know He will do for you, what He's done for me.


To God be All The Glory!